Motherhood Musings: Your Village is Created by You

This isn't a hot take by any means, but this blog came from some thoughts I have had when I've heard people commenting on "if it takes a village to raise children, where's my village?"

It goes without saying it really does make a world of difference raising kids when you have support around you that you can lean on. I get asked often how I run a business and raise 6 kids and my answer is always "I have an army of babysitters and a very supportive husband". I also have a handful of amazing friends that I can lean on for childcare or to talk to when I am having a hard time. My husband and I both have family in our area that we can turn to as well. We are also a part of a close-knit church community and have been helped by members of our church after we have had a baby, etc.

I am extremely grateful for all of this and recognize that this isn't everyone's reality. Many live far away from their families or don't have great relationships with their families. Babysitters can be costly and that can be a barrier too for help. Some don't go to church or aren't tapped into a like-minded community. I'd say that despite the internet connecting us with others all around the world we are also incredibly isolated. Making new friends as an adult is also really difficult!

Here's the thing with having a village though: you must be a villager too. This means reaching out to others and offering help. It means sending a text to someone to check in on how they're doing. It means offering to watch someone's kids. It means bringing someone a meal after they've had a baby. It means meeting up with someone at the park or the coffee shop. There are so many small meaningful ways that you can also lend support to those around you. I'd love to hear your ways too!

When I have felt hesitant about reaching out to someone (maybe they don't want the help, etc) I've flipped the thought in my mind and reframed it as if someone reached out to me I'd think it was such a kind thing to do, so why wouldn't I? It can be a little uncomfortable maybe, or awkward to reach out to someone who you maybe aren't close with, but that's okay, do it anyway!

If you are feeling alone and like you don't have anyone around you yet who you can lean on, I highly encourage you to look in your community for a meet up group, a church, a gym, even the library, for people that you can begin to call your village. As I said earlier, having your support crew makes a world of difference with raising your kids and with feeling like you aren't all alone.

Let's do this, together!